Thanking key people who helped with your big day doesn’t need to take forever or ruin the vibe of the night with too many tears. Here’s a handy guide of key things to work through to make sure your thank yous hit the mark on the night.

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No matter how brilliant and organised you are, I’m fairly certain you accepted some form of assistance to get your wedding day sorted. Whether you asked for the help is another thing, but hey, no man is an island. Either way, there will be people who need to be thanked, sometimes many – but how do you do this tactfully without sounding like a 12 year old reading a shopping list and boring your guests to drink?

Here’s my tips on how to make everyone feel appreciated … and awake.

Who’s on the list

Traditionally, the groom does a significant part of the thank you’s on behalf of the newlyweds.  If that is the way you want to go, brilliant – but make sure as a couple you figure out who did what to help you out to get to this moment.  There is nothing worse or more awkward than the groom thanking mostly his family and friends and leaving out some key assistance from the brides’ point of view. Start the union off well and as a team and brainstorm together who needs to be thanked.

Draw a line in the sand

It’s tempting to want to thank everyone for their help leading up to and on the day. After brainstorming you will have a long list of names that you need to cut down. Now you need to be as efficient as possible in who you personally (or as a couple) choose to thank in more detail.

A good general guide of people to include is parents and immediate family, bridesmaids & maid of honour, groomsmen and best man, people who travelled, event staff on the night (so they don’t spit in your cup) and one or two other key people.

Be efficient

When I say ‘thank the bridesmaids’, I mean collectively, not individually. Cindy and Georgia are both great friends and both travelled to be here and both look fantastic – you can thank them together for the purpose of the speech. Just ensure your personal card and present to them reflects your true appreciation of their more individual efforts. Thanking them as a group also reduces your chances of getting teary and emotional.

If speaking on behalf of his new bride I do recommend that a groom thank his new parents-in-law separately to his own parents and you will need to add in personalisation for both (i.e. thank you for not only everything you’ve done for the day but for welcoming me to your family etc.).

Enlist help

As a bride and groom, you’re not the only ones who can thank people (or need to). Don’t be afraid to outsource. The Father of the Bride can thank the groom’s family for their assistance with the day on behalf of the bride and her family. The Father of the Groom can thank respective family members who have helped out with smaller details like set up and flowers etc. It’s ok to say ‘the bride has asked me to thank …’ as long as he ads his own weight to the sentiment too. And let’s not forget the MC who is able to shoulder some responsibility for event staff and minor players like the DJ and band for example.

By sharing the responsibility, your list as a couple will be narrowed sufficiently so you can focus on the key players, yet ensure everyone else feels acknowledged for their time and efforts.

Make it count

The key to making sure your audience isn’t bored stiff is to make it sincere. So when you thank your bridesmaids, you don’t just say ‘thank you to my bridesmaids for your help’ – tell your audience what they did and why you appreciate them. Thank them for travelling, trying on 50 dresses, putting up with your emails and questions and crafting bees. Without rambling, make it a real thank you.

Finally, set the tone

Thank yous can get emotional, especially when you are thanking your parents for everything they’ve given you over a lifetime (truly, how do you thank someone for that!?). But just because its emotional for you, doesn’t mean it’s emotional for everyone else. Listening to you cry and sniffle through your speech can be a massive buzz kill and can undo all your hard work so far. So rehearse rehearse and rehearse – its fine to be a bit emotional as you’re speaking from the heart but try to avoid tears and keep the tone upbeat by ending with a little self-effacing joke.

So there you have it! Some great tips on how to get through a list of people to thank, without ruining the tone of the night!

Best of luck!pink-envelope-staionery-thank-you-gold-foil_1024x1024