Will you be giving a speech at a wedding this season? To make sure your speech is a hit on the day here are some key things to avoid.

  1. Don’t wing it – saying you’ll wing your speech is the wedding equivalent of ‘hold my beer and watch this’ – no good things will follow. When a lack of preparation combines with nerves and alcohol you’re left with a lot of awkward pauses and downward glances as we all wish you would stop. Unless you’re a pro, avoid the lacklustre jokes and write down your thoughts.
  2. Don’t read it – no matter how brilliant and engaging your speech is on paper, reading it word for word guarantees a flat voice and a snore-fest for the audience. Stick to bullet points on cards and practice like mad so you can engage your audience with eye contact and personality.
  3. Don’t waffle – a major bug bear at any wedding is the speech that is too long – particularly when it starts to interfere with main course. Prepare your speech in advance and as a general guide, stick to five minutes –about two double spaced pages or about 600 words.
  4. Don’t ignore the Bride’s wishes – yes, the fact that the bride and groom started as a one night stand is a great story, but if the bride doesn’t want it in your speech it’s a no go. We all have skeletons in our closet, if you want yours to stay hidden, respect her wishes and focus on something more positive.
  5. Don’t talk about the exes – nothing gets more awkward than a mention of previous partners at a wedding – especially if it ended in divorce. A wedding is a celebration of possibility for the couple and what their future together may bring – don’t ruin it by bringing up the dirty past.
  6. Don’t drink too much – vodka is not awesome water and rum will not make you funnier. Maintain the filter and stick to the general rule of no more than two glasses before your speech to keep your head clear and your tongue sharp.
  7. Don’t forget your audience – you’re not having a deep and meaningful with your bestie here, there are sometimes hundreds of people in the room too. Make like Grandma is listening (and can actually hear you) – no swearing, no sex stories, and no ‘in’ jokes. This is a very forgiving audience, but you have to respect them.
  8. Don’t get too emotional – pardon the pun, but nothing ruins the flow of an evening like tears – even ‘happy’ ones. Practice, keep it upbeat and stay on point.
  9. Don’t forget about the wedding – it sounds silly, but let’s not forget why we’re all here – it’s not to talk about yourself, it’s not to list every accomplishment of your little girl and it’s not about just telling awkward funny stories. Keep in mind you’re all there to celebrate the couple and their future so make sure that is front and centre of your speech.
  10. Don’t forget to bring the funny – it’s a celebration not a Justin Beiber roast. Test your jokes out on a few people to see which ones work and if it’s all too much and funny isn’t working, just be yourself and speak from the heart – you can’t lose.